Something to Consider for 2008

My daughter Natalie, 21, wrote this in August, but it's a great New Year's piece that challenges me and I wanted to post it here, which I'm doing with her permission.

"An Unpolished Thought"
Natalie Bernardini

I have been thinking lately that my life is pretty dull. Exciting things have happened around me, but not in me. I have been reading all summer, from Harry Potter to The Four Loves, to books on living among the poor to National Geographic, and they all have challenged my thoughts in different ways. I have been learning, of late, about standing for something. I have always been pretty opinionated, thoughtful, but I have realized that something of grand importance has been missing in my life. My mouth moves, but my feet stand still. I sit down, longing for adventure; waiting for something to do with my hands, but I don't move. Why is that?

I think I have been given too much. I am full, but it's not the kind of satisfying fill you get when you eat after a long day of work; it's the kind of full feeling that never goes away. It's almost sickening because it's undeserved. I rarely possess hunger because I rarely struggle. I don't know the pain of searing loss; I haven't been "burned" in love, I do not know what it's like to be without a home. However, I am realizing that spiritually, I have experienced all of these things in full. I believe this is the starting point. I might be "full" physically, but my soul is parched. I find no adventure because I don't take chances. Taking a chance would require loss, possibly the loss of everything for which I have worked. I desire to do great things, but I am unwilling to sacrifice the mediocre things to which I am enslaved.

The challenge seems to be two-fold: first, I have to give up my entire life and then I have to go and do. Not an easy task by any means. Then again, herein lies the issue: it's not a task! I have made it out to be a job that needs finishing. Wrong again; it's a joy above all joys. I am realizing that if I lay down my life and follow Christ WHEREVER He wants me to go, I actually live. The adventure starts here.

I say I want to be able to take a stand for something, but how can I if I have only stood still? If I live in a way that seeks to protect myself from all things that could potentially harm me, strike discord with my daily life, or bring about struggle, I have failed. I have lived in fear, rather than faith. My work is rubbish. I say I want adventure, and I am realizing that God places it before me everyday; I just choose to ignore it. I choose the cheaper, less fulfilling life. One that has turned out to be dull and empty at the end of the day. But, there is hope.

I don't think that we should put down our books and go save the world without proper equipping. Too many people get the "feeling" that they have been called to go spread the Gospel, but they forget that it takes discipline and study of the Word to be effective. Working among the poor, caring for those in need, helping one's brothers and sisters are all actions made of good intention in most circumstances. However, can't anyone do that? It takes more than a motive, more than a "good" or outgoing person to take on the challenge of which I am writing. It ultimately comes down to sacrifice and understanding. Sacrifice of one's life as they previously desired it and the understanding that this sacrifice will bring about immense joy and freedom; and not to mention, adventure!

How I will get to the point of putting myself out there, being bold, yet humble, and also equipping and disciplining myself; standing for what is good and right and fully trusting Christ...I have no idea. I do know that I long for adventure, but one that is lasting; and it starts when I stand up on my feet for once and follow Christ; and that means going wherever He will have me go and doing whatever He will ask me to do.